...by Natalie Phillip
When my daughter Trianna was born, she had a head full of hair. As she grew, the hair went in the opposite direction. Once she learned to move her head side to side, she developed that bald spot at the back as some babies do. Then she started pulling it out…just because. What wasn’t pulled out came out with something some babies develop called cradle cap. Being our first baby, we were clueless as to how to deal with these different stages. Let’s put it this way, after dwindling down to peach fuzz, she was then BALD. Yep…no hair.
I grew tired of people saying “He’s so cute!!” Then it was “She has no hair!!” I am going to be completely honest with you…I developed a complex. It was MY complex. She didn’t know any different. I realized what was happening and I had to stop it…in my own head. It was going to be okay! Was I being vain? Was I going to allow her (by my reaction and disappointment) to know that she was lacking something? I wasn’t going to do that to my baby. I had to get myself in check and show her by example where her true beauty lay. Her confidence needed to be based on who she is inside and I (being her mother) had to teach her that. So I had to get over it. I didn’t want it to define her or stop her from doing anything. She didn’t even realize how little hair she had until we look back now…and her confidence is still through the roof.
By her first birthday, it started growing back “very slowly”. I was anxious to braid, put in clips, hairbands and the like. I had one lady tell me not to worry because her daughter was also bald and eventually had a full head of hair. She was right…though it took a little longer, by three years old Trianna had hair and it’s now a full head of hair!!
She is now approaching her 9th birthday. When she sees people who knew her when she had little hair the first thing they say is, “She has so much hair now…remember when she had no hair?” It doesn’t phase her one bit and I love it.
Whether it may be something as simple as hair, fears, or bad habits…it’s so easy to pass on our own issues to our kids without realizing it. We always want better for them, but little do we realize that it starts with us as parents. Let’s do better, think better, and be the example of what we want them to be. Let’s make sure they are fully equipped with a confidence based on who they are on the inside and that their outer beauty only enhances it!!!
By the way…guess who had to encourage a lady the other day who was so conscious of the fact that her baby girl had no hair? I saw myself in this lady and I saw the disappointment as she tried to laugh it off. I was able to have this conversation with her and it felt awesome to help someone else. It’s more than just hair…go a little deeper…be a little stronger…the little ones are watching and they feel what you think is unknown.